Teenage girls need to make a personal fashion statement, something to set them apart. I was a teenager long before there were sweatpants with writing on the ass. And clearly my trouble attracting guys had to do with the single piercing of my ears. So I decided to get my ears double pierced. But that…
Shhh! Do not disturb. I’m tapering. The “taper” is the period before a race (in my case, a ten-miler this Sunday), during which a runner reduces mileage and rests in preparation for the big day. Tapering is the only part of my training that comes naturally to me, probably because it’s my normal state of…
They say laughter is the best medicine. So when I laugh at people, I’m just looking out for my health. One of many reasons I’ll be in hell if it exists is laughing at an impassioned speaker during high school who said, “we will no longer take your condensation!” Expressing frustration with condescension but messing…
Mom called me at work on Friday all excited about something she’d seen on Regis and Kelly. “I know what’s wrong with you,” she said. You see, I’m extremely sensitive to noises, like those made by people eating (and breathing if we’re being honest here). We’ve spent years thinking I was just an intolerant bitch,…
I will love him, and squeeze him, and call him George Peanut. Honest to God, I didn’t realize this thing was going to be quite so big. I never really outgrew stuffed animals. Dave says this would go over better if I styled myself as a “collector,” but that strikes me as even more weird…
Coming Out I haven’t explicitly written about not having kids. I’ve been hesitant for two reasons: 1.) I don’t want to alienate anybody. I think some parents get uncomfortable around me once they know I’m purposely childfree (it’s hard to avoid the conversation now that I’m of an age when “do you have kids?” is…
Today I read this post by Derek Powazek (via Schmutzie’s Five Star Friday). Derek’s disappointment about his negative Twitter interaction with a “personal hero” really resonated with me, although I did find it ironic that part of the post was about his hero’s aversion to online commenting and after scrolling up and down and back…