Last year, there was some crazy talk about a “War on Easter.”
As an atheist agnostic apathetic agnostic in need of a couple of Easter cards, I can’t say I would have minded a skirmish as I scanned the selection of cards at the grocery store.
I just wanted something cute and upbeat and not too “Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again” to include with the Easter candy I planned to send to my nephew studying abroad this semester. But the Catholic school girl inside me was actually a little shocked to find this:
Jellybean day? Seriously?
The term “Easter” doesn’t have anything to do with the resurrection, why should I have to give up saying Happy Easter? Christians should have to come up with another name for their celebration of the resurrection. But this card was just childish and ridiculous enough to make the care package cut.
This year I also needed a card for my Mom. I’m bummed she isn’t visiting for Easter this year per our usual tradition. Don’t worry, she mailed my Romolo’s chocolate to me…
“Jellybean Day?” No. “Romolo’s Day?” Perhaps…
Anyway, since I won’t get to spend the holiday with Mom, I needed to find a card that conveyed just the right sentiment for Easter. Oh yeah, here it is.
As someone who’s had something (two things in fact) come out of her hoo-ha, I thought my Mom would appreciate the reminder on this most holy of occasions. Quite frankly, I just enjoy the hell out of the word “hoo-ha.” I was a fully formed adult before ever hearing this term (ironically, in reference to my Mom’s hoo-ha) and after I fell out of my chair laughing, I tried making up for lost time. I must have said “hoo-ha” 900 times that day. Here are a few more for you: hoo-ha, hoo-ha, hoo-ha.
At least this card says “Easter” and not “Jellybean Day.”
With my card selections complete, I started to wonder if American Greetings actually was engaging in a War on Easter. But fear not, only two slots away from the chicken hoo-ha card was this:
When I showed Dave the inside of this card, he said “and how much happiness is that?” Hmm, good question. Wishing you all the happiness of an unjust death sentence, followed by kinda, sorta, not really coming back to life.
We’ll try to carry on as best we can without Mom. We’re headed for Willow’s Fish Fry tonight, then we’ll trek out to Wegmans to stock up for our Easter feast (ooh, date night at Wegmans. And I’m not kidding). I also plan on making Peeps ice cream (favorite Peeps Diorama contest entry below!). Is it wrong that I’m looking forward to chopping up Peep bunnies? What are your Easter Jellybean Day Decorated Chicken Hoo-Ha Expulsions Day plans?
As someone who works in the stationery industry, I have to say I couldn’t agree more about the ridiculousness/generic/off-base nature of a majority of holiday cards–any holiday, really. That’s why when you find a good one–whether it’s serious or referencing a hoo-ha–it feels like winning the lottery!
Your mom sounds cool and I’m pretty sure if you and yours and me and mine went for drinks, we would pretty much rule the roost. Anyway, enjoy your holiday. As a heathen myself, it will be spent watching baseball. Hoo-ha!
Hoo-ha to you too! I assume that greeting card writers have specialties? Because if the same people are expected to write the “heathen-appropriate” cards AND the “Christ is risen” cards, I’m afraid they’d get whiplash.
I will definitely miss my mom, but look forward to a few days off to relax and enjoy my chocolate. I hope you enjoy the baseball.
My plan is to go on “product of a chicken hoo-ha” hunt, and then eat massive quantities of chocolate as I bask in the happiness of the resurrection. A Reese’s egg makes the resurrection seem so much more chocolatey.
I asked my mom to get considerably less chocolate this year and now I’m worried it won’t be enough to fully suck every last bit of happiness out of the resurrection.
I stopped celebrating Easter with the family (as a rule) about ten years ago, when distance and time weren’t outweighed by value of the trip home (rather be home to do something else, I guess). Anyway, the first year I did skip out, I went to the Art Institute of Chicago and had a fabulous time. I felt very independent and really in touch with myself.
This year, I’m reuniting with my Dave in Istanbul. I think it’ll be another memorable one…
I’ve always liked Easter more for the return of nice weather and chocolate than anything else. But it was always a second tier holiday for me too. It’s moved up in importance since Mom started coming to us to celebrate. All the other big holidays, I have to travel and thus “waste” some of my precious vacation time on driving. At Easter, I take time off but get to stay home and enjoy every last second of my time off for vacation-y relaxing.
Istanbul (and your reunion) sounds fabulous! But now I have that They Might Be Giants song in my head (Dave is waiting in Istanbul…). Can’t wait to see your photos and recap of the trip.
The barking zombies and R and I will be having bones and tacos. Bones for the zombies, tacos for R and me. Hopefully, I will have published my Easter blog by then. Loved the peeps pix.
Yum, tacos! Dave made absolutely fabulous chicken tacos once before we were married and we both carried on about how great they were but he didn’t make them again for over a decade. Somehow they weren’t as good that second time.
Looking forward to your Easter post.
Tracy, if you feel like you need a little something to help you fully suck every last bit of happiness out of the resurrection, grab a Cadbury Creme Egg and think of me. I am relieved to see from this post that you did not commit hot dog sacrilege after all, you were merely trapped in a non-Smith’s region. I also was about 32 before I ever heard the term “hoo-ha”. Glad I am not alone.
I envy your Romolo’s. I told my mom the other day, “Don’t get me any candy for Easter. [Trying to be good and continue to lose this baby fat]. Just take me out while we’re in Boston.” She then broke it to me that she wasn’t planning on getting me anything, she was just giving presents to the boys.
Hi Erin! I’m proud of your internet resolution success (very impressive to have the willpower to stay away from this brilliant blog!), but miss your comments! Of course, I just realized I’m the one who owes you an email, so oops.
I need to find someplace that sells single Creme Eggs–I like to have one, but one is plenty.
Sahlen’s hot dogs are made in Buffalo. They are Dave’s favorite and he is a million times more attached to them than I am to Smith’s (although I do love me some Smith’s). When the Wegmans down here first opened and he saw they carried his hot dogs, he teared up a little. He loves them is what I’m saying.
No Easter candy!?! Dude, Connie that is cold. If her presents to the boys include chocolate, maybe you could “borrow” some.
Will email you soon because I want to hear more about your Boston trip.
Happy Colored Product of a Chicken Hoo-ha Day!
The hoo-ha card is awesome! It might’ve just driven me to become vegan but I love it just the same.
I think it’s interesting that the two biggest Christian holidays include traditions that center more on old pagan rituals — like in this case, spring/fertility symbols. Why not just put it completely out there. Happy Hooh-ha has a nice ring to it.
Angie, I couldn’t stop saying Happy Decorated Chicken Hoo-ha Product Day yesterday, so I think it’s going to catch on.
Realizing that the religion I grew up with didn’t originate much of the stuff we did to celebrate (or even the idea of the resurrection itself) was a big part of my religious questioning.
LOVE the peeps diorama!
The Washington Post peeps diorama contest is one of my favorite things about Easter.
Cheebit, Jelly Bean Day? My family always separated the Christian aspect from the Pagan aspect. We actually did Jelly Bean Day on Saturday and concentrated on the Christian stuff on the Good Friday and the Easter Sunday. Of course, it was a bizarre household, for we also celebrated Passover. I think my folks wanted all of our bases covered.
Great critique on the “Hallmark” side. I laughed the whole way through.
Thanks, I thought I might get whiplash from the different card styles. I guess there really is a card for everything.
Peeps ice cream? New to me.
Hoo-ha does have a certain lighthearted ring to it.
But mostly I want to know if you are making a Peeps diorama…and please, oh please, will it be revealed here?!?!?!?!
I have wanted to do some peeps art, but I’m not much of an artist. So I melted some peeps into ice cream and chopped some up to fold into the finished product for good measure. I’ll definitely be sharing pictures of the butchering, I mean the ice cream.
LOL!! I love the “Happiness of the Resurrection” card…..
http://lgoogoogaga.wordpress.com/2012/04/08/bad-catholic-easter-edition/
Yes, so happy. Bad Catholics unite!