Ten Jobs I Would Be Willing To Do Without Pay

Do you know what today is? It’s my anniversary. Today I celebrate 15 years of employed bliss. As I discussed yesterday, one of the reasons I have stayed where I am so long is a lack of a “big dream” to pursue.

I recently saw a suggestion to think about what you would still be willing to do even if you weren’t being paid for it. I guess the theory is it helps you identify your true calling and maybe shake loose a possible idea for turning it into income. I remember laughing heartily at the suggestion, because the only thing that immediately came to mind was sleep. I would definitely be willing to sleep for free. Anyone want to step forward and make my dream of a new career in somnolence come true*?

In honor of my momentous employment milestone, I decided to brainstorm some dream job titles to try to uncover my passion. It must be in there somewhere.

Ten Jobs I Would Be Willing to Do Without Pay (in alphabetical order):

1. Back Rub Critic

2. Dave’s Wife/Stay at Home Dog Mom (additional husbands and windows would require a paycheck). Also, can someone please explain to me why Gwyneth Paltrow kept popping up when I searched for images of “traditional housewives?”

3. Family Photographer. All I mean by this is taking pictures of whatever I feel like. Ironically this photo shows Dave would make a good photographer.

4. Grouch (Oscar’s bound to retire sometime, right?)

5. Ice Cream Taster. This is making me want krunch kote.

6. Lode Runner

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzimJopP5rE

 

7. Lounge Singer (thank you!)

8. Neighborhood Watch President. I would write copious amounts of front porch sitting into this job description. EDITOR’S NOTE: This used to be accompanied by a photo of a very disgruntled older lady wearing a clear babushka, but the link is sadly broken now. So I’ll replace this one with Segway Meter Maid (photo of us on Segway tour is a placeholder until I can sneak a picture of the dude I see writing tickets on a Segway several times a week).

9. Orgasm Reviewer

10. Red Panda Caretaker. The July/August 2011 issue of the National Zoo’s Zoogoer magazine has an article about hand-rearing baby animals, including red pandas, at the zoo. Mother of God did I ever go into the wrong profession. The photos of the baby red pandas made my eyes melt out of their sockets. I haven’t seen the new babies yet, but here is a picture of a regular old, ridiculously adorable, red panda I took a few months ago.

IMG_5992

How about you? Are you still trying to figure out what you want to be when you grow up? What would you be willing to do without being paid?

*I realize somnolence means drowsiness. Why isn’t there a Latin word for the act of sleeping?

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26 thoughts on “Ten Jobs I Would Be Willing To Do Without Pay

  1. Loved this! You had me rolling…I particularly like orgasm reviewer and grouch. I think I could be amazingly adept at either of those professions. I guess I would write without pay…because I already do that now, so yeah 🙂

  2. I love Lode Runner! You’ve inspired me to try playing it online, and accomplish nothing else today. Thank you for that.

    I too am beginning to feel the burning of questions like, “What am I really going to do with my life??” I’m currently a second year mathematics PhD student, who really just wants to teach. But I started this PhD, and now feel compelled to finish. Every day, I question my decision to be in school. Anyway, I hope you know you’re not alone in wondering what you are going to do for the rest of your life. I wish you the best of luck doing whatever it is that you want to do in life!

    Ryan

    1. I’m going to investigate a way to play Lode Runner on my iMac, I hope it works! I’m always good for helping people blow some time! I considered quitting grad school very seriously both semesters my first year. Once I managed to get through the first year, it seemed really dumb to quit since I was halfway through. A PhD is a bigger commitment.

      What level do you want to teach? Teaching high school Calculus might be fun.

      1. Good job on sticking with your grad program! I often think about withdrawing, but now I an half way through, and as you said, it would be dumb to now.

        I would love to teach first and second year university. I don’t suppose I would mind high school, but it seems that you have to discipline students more, and I’m not really interested in that. Most students at university are more willing to pay attention, and those that don’t usually pipe down when they realize no one finds them funny anymore.

        I found a version of Lode Runner here: http://www.lode-runner.com/

  3. I’m in complete reinvention mdoe and I’m supposed to be grown-up! I have no idea what lies ahead and wish I wasn’t unemployed but I am so am using the time to look around and it’s very likely that I will work for nothing or almost nothing if I love something.

    1. I don’t really feel like a grown up, but I suppose at 37 (38 on Monday), I am. Sorry about the unemployment situation, it sounds like you’re trying to make the best of it. Sometimes I actually wonder if it would just be easier if some external factor forced me to make a change. I know how ridiculous that sounds.

  4. I like your attitude! One way of looking at ten jobs I would do for free consists of looking at stuff I already do, so

    1) Reader: Fiction, Memoir. Partial to the third time through the Harry Potter series.
    2) Writer: Just pay me for what I already do everyday
    3) Traditional Ballad Singer (now there’s a paying gig)
    4) Watercolor painter with a marketing assistant to hawk the stuff
    5) Chief cook (but not bottle washer)
    6) Mystery box contestant with no time constraints — I like to daydream about what I’ll cook for a long time
    7) Writing practice teacher
    8) Inspiration to others just for being me
    9) Open water swimmer (a seasonal job for five or six months of the year)
    10) Photographer (so what if I don’t know anything: taking photos is fun)

    Caveat: none of these jobs can be high-pressure or full of time-constraints!

    1. This is a good list. You should try out for American Idol and perform traditional ballads. Wonder how that would go over. I think I’m going to take a photography class this fall so I can stop not knowing anything!

    1. I started with this list because I thought it was funny. But I definitely am interested in thinking about this further to see if anything sticks as a viable idea. I’d love to hear your list if you write one!

    1. Jack, I guess WordPress doesn’t like the big O-word. I had to rescue this comment from Spam! If you get to be the next Grouch, I’ll need to come up with another job title. Blog reader? I’d definitely be willing to do that for free. I do that for free all the damn time.

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