Ten Jobs I Would Be Willing To Do Without Pay

Do you know what today is? It’s my anniversary. Today I celebrate 15 years of employed bliss. As I discussed yesterday, one of the reasons I have stayed where I am so long is a lack of a “big dream” to pursue.

I recently saw a suggestion to think about what you would still be willing to do even if you weren’t being paid for it. I guess the theory is it helps you identify your true calling and maybe shake loose a possible idea for turning it into income. I remember laughing heartily at the suggestion, because the only thing that immediately came to mind was sleep. I would definitely be willing to sleep for free. Anyone want to step forward and make my dream of a new career in somnolence come true*?

In honor of my momentous employment milestone, I decided to brainstorm some dream job titles to try to uncover my passion. It must be in there somewhere.

Ten Jobs I Would Be Willing to Do Without Pay (in alphabetical order):

1. Back Rub Critic

2. Dave’s Wife/Stay at Home Dog Mom (additional husbands and windows would require a paycheck). Also, can someone please explain to me why Gwyneth Paltrow kept popping up when I searched for images of “traditional housewives?”

3. Family Photographer. All I mean by this is taking pictures of whatever I feel like. Ironically this photo shows Dave would make a good photographer.

4. Grouch (Oscar’s bound to retire sometime, right?)

5. Ice Cream Taster. This is making me want krunch kote.

6. Lode Runner


7. Lounge Singer (thank you!)

8. Neighborhood Watch President. I would write copious amounts of front porch sitting into this job description. EDITOR’S NOTE: This used to be accompanied by a photo of a very disgruntled older lady wearing a clear babushka, but the link is sadly broken now. So I’ll replace this one with Segway Meter Maid (photo of us on Segway tour is a placeholder until I can sneak a picture of the dude I see writing tickets on a Segway several times a week).

9. Orgasm Reviewer

10. Red Panda Caretaker. The July/August 2011 issue of the National Zoo’s Zoogoer magazine has an article about hand-rearing baby animals, including red pandas, at the zoo. Mother of God did I ever go into the wrong profession. The photos of the baby red pandas made my eyes melt out of their sockets. I haven’t seen the new babies yet, but here is a picture of a regular old, ridiculously adorable, red panda I took a few months ago.


How about you? Are you still trying to figure out what you want to be when you grow up? What would you be willing to do without being paid?

*I realize somnolence means drowsiness. Why isn’t there a Latin word for the act of sleeping?

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26 Responses to “Ten Jobs I Would Be Willing To Do Without Pay”

  1. Katie
    Friday, August 19, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    Loved this! You had me rolling…I particularly like orgasm reviewer and grouch. I think I could be amazingly adept at either of those professions. I guess I would write without pay…because I already do that now, so yeah :)

    • logyexpress
      Friday, August 19, 2011 at 9:40 am #

      Hi Katie, thanks! I don’t think I’ve yet hit upon my career niche, because I don’t think anyone’s going to pay me for anything on that list. Must keep brainstorming!

  2. nerdymathjitsu
    Friday, August 19, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    I love Lode Runner! You’ve inspired me to try playing it online, and accomplish nothing else today. Thank you for that.

    I too am beginning to feel the burning of questions like, “What am I really going to do with my life??” I’m currently a second year mathematics PhD student, who really just wants to teach. But I started this PhD, and now feel compelled to finish. Every day, I question my decision to be in school. Anyway, I hope you know you’re not alone in wondering what you are going to do for the rest of your life. I wish you the best of luck doing whatever it is that you want to do in life!


    • logyexpress
      Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

      I’m going to investigate a way to play Lode Runner on my iMac, I hope it works! I’m always good for helping people blow some time! I considered quitting grad school very seriously both semesters my first year. Once I managed to get through the first year, it seemed really dumb to quit since I was halfway through. A PhD is a bigger commitment.

      What level do you want to teach? Teaching high school Calculus might be fun.

      • nerdymathjitsu
        Sunday, August 21, 2011 at 6:18 pm #

        Good job on sticking with your grad program! I often think about withdrawing, but now I an half way through, and as you said, it would be dumb to now.

        I would love to teach first and second year university. I don’t suppose I would mind high school, but it seems that you have to discipline students more, and I’m not really interested in that. Most students at university are more willing to pay attention, and those that don’t usually pipe down when they realize no one finds them funny anymore.

        I found a version of Lode Runner here:

    • logyexpress
      Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

      Hey Ryan-thanks for the Lode Runner link. I’m in serious trouble now!

  3. Catherine
    Friday, August 19, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    I’m in complete reinvention mdoe and I’m supposed to be grown-up! I have no idea what lies ahead and wish I wasn’t unemployed but I am so am using the time to look around and it’s very likely that I will work for nothing or almost nothing if I love something.

    • Catherine
      Friday, August 19, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

      sorry- mode!

    • logyexpress
      Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 10:39 pm #

      I don’t really feel like a grown up, but I suppose at 37 (38 on Monday), I am. Sorry about the unemployment situation, it sounds like you’re trying to make the best of it. Sometimes I actually wonder if it would just be easier if some external factor forced me to make a change. I know how ridiculous that sounds.

  4. thekalechronicles
    Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 12:27 am #

    I like your attitude! One way of looking at ten jobs I would do for free consists of looking at stuff I already do, so

    1) Reader: Fiction, Memoir. Partial to the third time through the Harry Potter series.
    2) Writer: Just pay me for what I already do everyday
    3) Traditional Ballad Singer (now there’s a paying gig)
    4) Watercolor painter with a marketing assistant to hawk the stuff
    5) Chief cook (but not bottle washer)
    6) Mystery box contestant with no time constraints — I like to daydream about what I’ll cook for a long time
    7) Writing practice teacher
    8) Inspiration to others just for being me
    9) Open water swimmer (a seasonal job for five or six months of the year)
    10) Photographer (so what if I don’t know anything: taking photos is fun)

    Caveat: none of these jobs can be high-pressure or full of time-constraints!

    • logyexpress
      Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 10:46 pm #

      This is a good list. You should try out for American Idol and perform traditional ballads. Wonder how that would go over. I think I’m going to take a photography class this fall so I can stop not knowing anything!

  5. themolesworthdiarist
    Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 5:03 am #

    There’s a book called Wishcraft by Barbara Sher that might be a good starting point – she has lots of exercises to help you identify what you would be happiest doing.

    • logyexpress
      Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

      Thanks, I think I saw that on Amazon when I was looking at career books, but it’s always good to get confirmation.

  6. poetgranny
    Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 9:45 am #

    Very cute and thought-provoking. I think I’ll make my list. Newborn Baby Holder probably number one for me!

    • logyexpress
      Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

      Thanks. I love the color green too (I stopped by your site and will definitely look around more)! Newborn babies scare the crap out of me. But Newborn Baby Holder is a cool job title.

  7. Tilting Tiara
    Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 11:03 am #

    I ALWAYS think of sleep when I hear that suggestion! So glad I’m not the only one.

    • logyexpress
      Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

      I love sleep, but I’m always stealing time for other things from my sleep time. I so desperately need more sleep. Getting paid to sleep would be a dream (ha!).

  8. verda.khan
    Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

    Funny! You list actually encourages to think out of the box 😀 I think I’m going to write my own list, too.

    • logyexpress
      Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 11:56 pm #

      I started with this list because I thought it was funny. But I definitely am interested in thinking about this further to see if anything sticks as a viable idea. I’d love to hear your list if you write one!

  9. Jack @ TheJackB
    Sunday, August 21, 2011 at 3:22 am #

    Call me selfish, but if I had to rate/review orgasm’s they would have be my own. P.S. I have a letter from Jim Henson that says that I get to take over for Oscar.

    • logyexpress
      Sunday, August 21, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

      Jack, I guess WordPress doesn’t like the big O-word. I had to rescue this comment from Spam! If you get to be the next Grouch, I’ll need to come up with another job title. Blog reader? I’d definitely be willing to do that for free. I do that for free all the damn time.

  10. offthefrontporch
    Sunday, August 21, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

    My dream job or volunteer work: be the person who chooses what song will play during momentous movie moments–there is a person who does that, right?

    • logyexpress
      Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 11:08 pm #

      That’s a good one! I’d love doing that. Sometimes I make up little movies that play in my head when I listen to music.

  11. klrs09
    Monday, August 22, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    I am going to create my own list post-haste — thanks for inspiring me!

    • logyexpress
      Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 11:09 pm #

      Cool, let me know if you post your list. I’d love to read it!


  1. Thirty-Eight « Logy Express - Thursday, August 25, 2011

    […] The notification about being Freshly Pressed came from someone who signed her email “Story Wrangler.” Who knew? I’m totally adding that to my list of coveted job titles. […]

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