Apr
7
2011
You’re A Shooting Star (or not)

Since I still have “One Shining Moment” stuck in my head, I’m going to say it’s not too late to write about the NCAA tournament. We went to the first and second (sorry, cannot make myself call them “second and third”) round games in D.C. this year. Here are some thoughts:

The games in D.C.

We got to see Butler and UConn in D.C., which seems pretty cool to me in retrospect.

Unfortunately this didn’t give me any special insight into their match up.

I remember both of the Butler games, which were thrilling, very clearly.

All I can really remember about the UConn games was Kemba Walker’s Mom going all Mama Bear on some Cincinnati fan. I was a quarter of the arena away, so couldn’t hear, but she looked pretty pissed. I wonder what the guy said or did to set her off. Dude seemed to back off pretty quickly once she engaged him, so don’t mess with Kemba’s Mom.

Going to the tournament is such a crap shoot, you never know who you’ll get to see. With the early rounds, you are lucky if one or two of the six games you see are good. I was disappointed with the teams assigned to D.C. this year, except for Butler, who I was excited to see, because of their run last year and because of Brad Stevens (can you call it a crush if the guy is younger than you?).

This is at least the second time I’ve had to watch Pitt in the tournament. They are never as good as their seed. As Charles Barkley would say, “they just not that good.” He actually said that about Syracuse, but I’m sure he’d be willing to apply it to Pitt too, since he seems to hate the Big East.

During the Pitt/Butler game, we had a lot of Pitt fans in our section. I knew I was in for an interesting night when a middle-aged man in front of us stood to applaud Pitt’s first basket. He even stood and cheered a Pitt timeout (called when the momentum had shifted in Butler’s direction). I shit you not. I turned to Dave and said, “He can’t be serious.” Dave said, “Woo Hoo, great timeout!”

I will never forgive the Verizon Center for not selling nachos this year.

Brad Stevens is the new Rick Pitino (Now with Less Douchebaggery!)

After Butler beat ODU at the buzzer, I said, “Brad Stevens is my new Rick Pitino.” It’s a good thing too, because Rick Pitino was ripe for replacement, ever since I realized he’s a douche.

You can say that I joined the Butler bandwagon, but you’d be wrong. I joined the Brad Stevens bandwagon. Keep it straight!

My loyalty is to coach, not school. People sometimes seem baffled by this, like a former colleague who is from Louisville. Our first conversation about the team we have in common went something like this:

HIM: “Are you from Louisville too?”

ME: “No.”

HIM: “Did you go to Louisville?”

ME: “No.”

HIM: “Why do you like Louisville?”

ME: “ I like Rick Pitino.”

Crickets.

Look, when you attend a Division III school and there aren’t any Division I schools in your hometown, and you like college basketball, you need some way to pick the teams you are going to root for during March Madness. I follow teams with good coaches who I find attractive. This seems reasonable to me. What am I supposed to do, pick by color?

Annoyingly, I still can’t help but like Rick Pitino, it’s a sickness. While it sucked that Louisville lost so early, I ended up seeing more of Rick that way given his guest stint on CBS the first weekend of the tournament. The interaction with Charles Barkley was awkward and awesome.

Hey, are Horizon League games even televised nationally? Because how am I supposed to feed my Brad Stevens addiction?

CBS Coverage

Jim Nantz bugs me.

I wish Gus Johnson and Len Elmore could call all of the games. Gus makes everything seem more exciting. Hell, I like all of the commentating teams better than Jim Nantz and Clark Kellogg. Every year when it gets down to the Final Four, I get a sinking feeling when it hits me that I no longer have any option about who will be yapping in my ear all night.

I don’t really care much for the studio dudes either, with the exception of Greg Anthony, who made sense to me more often than the others, and Charles Barkley, who simply has no filter on what he says, which was entertaining.

As Timely as Headlines from 3 Years Ago

George Mason’s 2008 NCAA run was so quick I missed it, so pardon me while I now bitch about 3-year old news. Dave and I were at the Verizon Center for the East Regional rounds in 2006 when George Mason won their two games to get to the Final Four. Probably the most exciting thing I’d ever witnessed.

Besides their underdog victories, the most charming thing about Mason was their mascot, Gunston. Gunston was a fucking adorable fluffy green patriot creature. Well, it’s not really clear what Gunston was, but that was what made him so awesome. Apparently, GMU gave Gunston the boot in 2008. Because he was embarrassing.

Seriously?

“Following the men’s basketball team’s heady run to the NCAA Final Four in 2006, the university community and fans agreed that the Gunston costume was not up to the standards of the team’s – and the university’s – national reputation.”

Oh yeah, seriously.

GMU, what’s embarrassing is not Gunston, but the fact that your inferiority complex made you dump the best mascot ever. I laugh out loud at your ridiculousness and your blue ribbon mascot panel. I shudder when I look at your scary two-faced big-headed patriot thing. GMU, you are dead to me (unless you hire Brad Stevens).

See what I’m saying (Gunston is below and the new mascot is here.)???

One Shining Moment, My Ass

Commentators sometimes say after a sporting event “it is too bad someone had to lose.” Given how pitiful the championship game was, I say it is too bad one of the teams had to win. Unfortunately, my eyes can’t un-see that game.

Rick Pitino predicted a Butler win over UConn. I’m glad I didn’t know that before the game, because I would have put stock in that prediction, when really Rick was just full of shit.

As a dog person, I was totally charmed that the real life Butler bulldog was there on the court. I was doubly charmed that the starters are supposed to pet him after they are announced. Vanzant seemed considerably less excited about it than the others and gave Blue the most perfunctory single head pat possible on Saturday night. He barely grazed him. I was all “Dude, it’s the Butler Way, just pretend you like the damn dog, OK?” Then he totally dissed Blue on Monday. Jinx!

At least Duke didn’t win.

Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I ran into Mike Krzyzewski at the Syracuse Zoo a few years ago? The sign said “muntjac,” but I knew better. That’s Coach K!

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